Those of you who tuned-in to the Archers vs. Redwoods game on July 31st, 2021, you may have had your ears tantalized by the verbal stylings of a newcomer in the PLL commentary game – Jake Marsch. Most people know Mr. Marsch as an “intern” for the popular sports podcast, Pardon My Take, but Jake is also a bonafide big J journalist who has worked the NCAA division one basketball circuit as a commentator and reporter. Now, thanks to some light bullying and slight gambling by PMT hosts Big Cat and PFT, Jake was able to take his commentary to the professional level by announcing two games in Colorado for the PLL. After doing both of the games, Jake had a recap on the following episode of Pardon My Take where he dropped an absolute bombshell of a new idea that Stringers Society has decided to fully endorse and start backing – wet the nets.
Wet Nets – A Movement for More Excitement
Such a simple, yet elegant, concept, wetting the lacrosse nets before games may be the single greatest idea to bless lacrosse since offset head designs. Every lacrosse player that has ever shot, or better yet scored a legit goal, in the middle of a rainstorm knows that the rippling effect of mist exploding off of a well-placed stinger is unlike anything else in the sport. Shooters get a few glorious seconds of trailing water droplets that dance in the air like a celebratory ballet just for you when the nets are wet. And dry nets merely have a puff of dust fly off them on a good day. It’s pretty easy for everyone to agree that dry nets can’t compare with a wet net, but is this the change that lacrosse needs right now?
“It gets the people going.” – Chazz Michael Michaels
Yes. This is definitely the change that is needed in lacrosse, but wet nets should not be something to be toyed with. Much like overpriced wine and smelly cheeses, overuse will dilute one’s palate to the point of no longer enjoying such delicacies. That’s why wetting the nets should not be some willy-nilly random waste of water done for each and every lacrosse game that’s not played in the rain. Instead, we should take it upon ourselves to only wet the nets during the most important lacrosse games not played in the rain. Anything above the quarterfinals in a tournament, conference championship games, and alumni games for teams that like to party need to have wet nets so the high rippers give the people something to cheer about. It’s really only what’s right to heed Jake’s advice and wet the nets when the time is right.
The Wet the Nets Movement
In the spirit of collaboration and community involvement, please do us the favor of letting Jake know if you’re joining the wet the nets movement by tweeting him @PMTsportsbiz on Twitter. Any dry day shots of a wet net catching some high heat are definitely sure to let Jake know that he’s welcome in the lacrosse community as a voice for change. Other recommendations that we’re open to in lacrosse, not from Jake, include the following: exclusively using goals tuned for high quality pipe sounds, removing football sidelines from lacrosse fields, sad trombone shot clock violation sounds, and fire shooting out of the goals whenever a 2-pointer is scored.